Becoming Stronger Mentally and Physically

a new kind of wellness journey begins...

As someone who's always been into keeping fit, I felt confident in my strong, healthy body for a long time, but now being postpartum, nothing is the same and my new body now acts as a reminder of my tragedy.  I've become determined to not only get back into shape, but to become leaner and stronger than I ever was before.  Here's where I am today... starting a new kind of wellness journey.

It was all supposed to be worth it, but instead my new body acts as a constant reminder, a trigger, about what happened. 
  Pre-pregnancy

Pre-pregnancy

During my pregnancy at 32 weeks I gained a total of 18 pounds, which for me, at 5'2" felt like a lot, but my doctor said I was right where he wanted me. After our tragedy however, I was left feeling as if I was spit out of a tornado in someone else's body that was unfamiliar to me and beyond uncomfortable.  It was all supposed to be worth it, but instead my new body acts as a constant reminder, a trigger, about what happened.  Therefore, getting my body back has become a priority for not only my physical, but my mental health.

  2 months postpartum

2 months postpartum

I was able to go back to yoga and SoulCycle just two weeks after I gave birth, but couldn't bring myself to go back to barre yet, because I felt too raw and wasn't ready mentally to see all of my friends in that community.  Now, two months postpartum, I'm back to my pre-baby weight, but my body looks different.  Even though I continued my workouts throughout my entire pregnancy, I'm not as toned as I was before and I don't feel as strong. This trigger kills me and I'm trying to move forward.  

In order to meet my new fitness goals, I plan on continuing a cycle of yoga as a moving meditation, spin to help release anger and going back to barre for extreme focus, but decided it was time to add personal training back into my regimen. I started to work out with my old personal trainer and friend, Jarrett Hahn of M.O.V.E Fit NJ.  I'm hoping that switching up my workouts daily and having one-on-one training will help to get me in a more comfortable place.  It's a journey, but I feel excited to have started it and am eager to become stronger – mentally and physically.  I'll be Instagramming my journey, so follow along.